Hey Darkness Within, I'm back. You know, to be honest, I'm really sad. Finding out that she have a boyfriend. Well, there is nothing wrong with it. It's just that perhaps I, hope too much for her. Thus I got thrown down again. It's like for real, I can only think about her. My whole mind is only thinking about her. Maybe I shouldn't have had too much hope. Im just tired. Tired of putting on my freaking mask. I can't really say out how sad I am. There are things to be considered. What if, I said out that im really actually very sad to her. Then she stop talking to me? I don't want that to happen. I'm not trying to act like a freaking hero here. But it's just, as long as she is happy. It's fine. Doesn't matter if I think I am suffering. I'm just tired of not being able to be real to people.

Sometimes really wanna find somebody to talk to. Removing my mask. But I just can't seem to find anybody. My BFFs. Recently haven't been texting the female. Guess she's busy with her own life too. She's not replying my text too. So can't really be bothered to text again. She also thinks I should be used to it already. so no point telling her right? Guy. Doesn't seem he will understand me. He warned me before. But I didn't listen. I wanted to keep that hope. So he wouldn't really bother. That's all my friends I have. Till now, I still keep that hope. Can't seem to give up on that hope. Maybe time will?

It's just, feel that slowly being myself again. Feeling life is meaningless. I realize I always hold onto something which will never happen. Feel like when I let someone into my world, she's at the door already. Somebody came and took her away. Why most people around me can be happy. Why can't I be happy too? Where is mine? Have I not been looking hard enough? Yea, I'll admit it. I'm weak. Ever since I came back, I let myself become weak. To be honest, i don't need anybody else to understand me. Just her will do. But it doesn't seem that she want to understand me. I really wanna go into her mind, wanna find out what am i to her. How small am i to her. Really wish that she can come on March. By then i should have an answer. Really, that's my last wish.

Lucky for me, It won't be long all this will end. Alright. That's it. Time to put on my mask again. Byebye.

Regards,
Dark Soul

Friday, December 21, 2012
Posted by Dark_Soul at 6:34 PM

All of my Signature is done by Shadow X.
Big thanks to him!