Let's see. How should i start? Life have been as usual. Just day before, First time ( 11/18/12 ) Video call with Beatrice. What kind of people Video call but don't talk!! Weirdo. Lol. But that is the whole part where it was fun.

Right now i know what to go in to. I think it was on a Friday. Or was it Saturday. Can't remember. Anyway, main point is that i was at the back preparing stuff. For making orders. Whereby my Lady Boss suddenly called me. At first i thought that there was order or something. Then when i went out, she told me police are looking for you. I was kinda shock a little. I never expect for police to be looking for me. Anyway, I was summon to court as a witness for a shooting case way back. This was the case whereby this guy was shot 7 to 8 times. Can't remember how many times in exact. Only thing that i can remember was that this guy was shot in the Jaw once. That's gonna hurt man. But he survived. So i went down court on Monday. My pocket knife was confiscated! I feel very naked right now!! Darn. Anyway, waited there for hours to heard that the trail was postpone. Sadden. Was so bored when i waited. Slept on the table. I'm totally beat up. Physically and mentally. Really thought being alone would be fun. But right now. I beg to differ.

Anyway, When i was first summon to court, I have many things running thru my mind. It's like I'm a witness. And what if the shooting is gang-related? But hey, I'm a guy who talks to my 4 walls every night. So don't mind me if my imagination runs wild. Lolol.

When i heard i am being to summon to court, I told Beatrice like right away. So of course i tell her my thought. Like if it is gang-related, I might get killed? Even if it is not gang-related, i can get myself killed anyway. She said she would be worried. I was really happy. You feel me. It's like haven't really get cared for in ages. I know people care about me. But they don't say out. Lol. Childish huh? Like i said before, right now I'm an attention seeker. I really care very much on how Beatrice thinks about me right now. Lolol.

Back then, I was talking with Beatrice about how people will put on mask if they wanna date that someone. Of course, I have my mask too. My mask is to be happy around people when i really ain't that happy. The only people I'm really happy when I'm around with are Beatrice, Cheryl and Jon. That is like when i can be the real me. Lol. Sudden incident. My speaker drop suddenly cause I was blasting music. Lol. Anyway, Back to topic. I really always have hallucination about Beatrice. Should i go see a shrink? It's like my whole mind is about her. I really wish one day she will accept me. But hey. I know that won't happen. Which i don't really mind. Because that is where i put on my mask. (:

Anyway, regarding PR application, I'm really kinda depress. It's kinda impossible for me to apply PR right now. Unless i can find a wife? Maybe? But pass on that option. Can't just find a wife for PR. If was given an option, I wish i wasn't born. Or rather if i was born, Either be born in Singapore or Malaysia. Born in America will work fine too. But let me just stay in America. At least i can get to meet some friends in America. Though i might not be able to meet my awesome current BFFs, But hey, at least i won't be like this right now. It's like right now, I really can't find a purpose and meaning in life. Jon lecture me about finding a goal in my life. But seriously, What goal can i have? I really can't find any hobby nor something that i like can work out. It's not like i haven't been trying. I tried. But people don't see it. So honestly, If death awaits me, I'm really not worried at all. I don't have anything to lose. Lolol. Screw this death topic. People ain't gonna like it. Anyway, I really should stop whining about how my life sucks. There are other who sucks more than mine. So shut the fuck up and live on. Lolol.

So with this, Let's end this session? Lol.

Regards,
Dark Soul

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Posted by Dark_Soul at 2:24 PM

All of my Signature is done by Shadow X.
Big thanks to him!