Today, i got my wish fulfill. I wanted to see her 1 last time. I did it. I know of the consequences. But i don't care. Now, i think i can let go already. She won't ever see me again.

*Edit Today, i did something very bad. Previous post, i mention that i have an evil plan for Saturday. I did it. Well, i won't regret it. I got to see her 1 last time. It's worth it. I don't care if what i did makes her hate me. If she hate me, that is exactly what i want. I hope so. But well, she won't talk to me = a sign of hating me? I don't know. Or maybe just wanna be faithful. But this time, for sure, we are over. Previous time we break, we will just lose contact awhile, and just somehow contact back. Then feeling will be back. But this time, haha. Just some stupid reason that make me think so. That 1, she don't wanna contact me 2, she don't want meet me 3, last time i ask her remove my blog link, she refuse to. This time, she remove it. That's good. After doing the evil thing today, i just kinda can let go. Even if i refuse, thinking of what i saw today, is QQ ( I didn't copy her using QQ. I started using it first. But i never use often. ) So I'm determine to let go. I might refuse to. But i will. As long as she is happy, i will let go. Not saying that if i don't let go, she can be happy. My gf never ever have hao xia chang de. Kinda just hoping her to say Goodbye to me. But she just hate me so much that she don't bother to sms 1 single Goodbye. Haha. So be it ba?

I'm not going to say what happen today. What's that evil plan. Nah. It's my evil little secret.

Okay. About me, i seriously don't know what will happen to me after Feb 7. Stay or leave. I can't make the decision. Though i say i will let go. But, the feeling is there, it won't be so easy. Stay is cause i wanna stay and wait for another chance. Leave is cause i damn sad. Damn sian. Don't feel like staying at this sad place. But i bu she de.

Haha. Okay, talk about today drinking session. Was suppose to go to a pub at Boat Quay? But Cheryl say she headache, can't go. So forget it lor. I went to meet Da, Er ge. Bought 3 big bottle Carlsberg to drink. Went over there, started to drink lor. I only drink 3 big bottle, Da, Er ge at there say i 酒鬼. -.-. Lame lor. Then from 8, sit there till 10, Da ge left first. Er ge and me was sitting at there till 1.30a.m. then we left. Was talking about stead and all. Keep on ask me about Polar bear. I felt like crying. But i didn't. Cause crying doesn't help. Crying won't change the fact she is gone. Did i mention that when we 3 was there, i was at there an wei-ing them. I was supposed to be the one emo-ing. Since i wanted to drink to chill out. Cause it's just 1 week and 1 day we broke up. But then, i just an wei them lor. For even if i say out my feelings, nobody will understand. She did understand my feeling. But now, i cannot approach her due to status. It's okay. Can't be helped. Then, Er ge want to cut himself. He bought a penknife. Then he like don't know how to cut. Or don't dare. So i demonstrated. Then Da ge wanted to try cut. So he cut on me. So lols. I got 2 more cuts. Total 4 cuts only. Haha. Aww. Suddenly don't have the mood to continue. End here le.

TMD lah. I always like that de sia, when with her, i quit smoking. But when she leave me, i smoke until like... 1 day 1 packet. Not that hardcore. But still, haiz. I want quit smoking lah!

从现在开始，我再也不会在为感情而哭泣了。因为我已经没有感觉了。 等到有个人能打开我的心吧。我再为感情而哭泣。

Regards,
Dark Soul

Wish fulfill
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Posted by Dark_Soul at 12:09 AM

All of my Signature is done by Shadow X.
Big thanks to him!