Okay. Haha. Here to update. Cause i suddenly remember something. Let's make it into a story. Here goes.

Life doesn't go the way you wants. For me, I don't want her to leave me. But she insist. So okay, I was sad. But not hurt. But 2 days later, the news came. I have bf le. I immediately, laugh. 2 days. Just 2 days, she find herself a new bf. I told alot of people. They all say her slut. But i say, nah, don't like that say her. I still love her you know? So they just say sorry. I don't think of her that way. She have the right to be with others. But it's just too immediately for me. That's why i felt hurt.

So, that goes for my da ge too. He is feeling stress. So we was chatting this day. He told me how to deal with it. That is, keep it in your heart. Make it feel more worse. Personally, i agree with it. The pain is fun. But i think long never have this pain le. That when this pain come, i feel like vomiting. I hate vomiting. I will feel this pain whenever i read her blog or when she doesn't reply me. Even in the middle of night. Cause i keep on dream of her. Haha. So, suddenly, we was saying. Dage: Feel like dying. Me: Okay. Let's die together? Dage: See first ba. Me: Why see first? Life is meaningless. Damn Sian. I just broke up. The thought of dying is full in my mind. Dage: See first. Me: Okay lor. Then later that night, we went to the cemetery to have fun. Lols. But didn't went in deep. Cause we saw a car. Just in case that we get screen. Haha.

If i can have 1 wish, i wish she will be back with me. Haha. And of course me trying my best to be her best. But right now, i did quite a number of things. But no use leh. Her current, did well, i don't know? Fetch her 1 day only, He is the best already. Once i read that, i immediately burst out into laughter with the feeling of vomiting. Not that it's disgusting. It's just pretty funny. Haha. Why funny you ask? Imagine. I wake up at 4.30a.m. to send her to school. Well, for 2 days. Not much. To her, it's nothing. Was like ah screw him. Then now her current, Fetch her for 1 day only. Afternoon 5+ 6 somemore. He is the best already. Isn't it funny? Haha. Yes. I'm complaining. I buay song. But whatever. I had my chance. I screwed up. Furthermore, She never tell me anything that will try to listen to me. Never say before try to be faithful. Never say all this at all. She doesn't wanna promise me anything. Haha lah.

Main point is, life doesn't go the way we want. So, jiayou and defy life ba.

*Edit. Haha. I read back my November 2008 posts. Though it's not much of post, it gave me back memories. Haha. Why November 2008? Cause though said it's 211209, it was actually 051108. So ya. I read back what happen between the 2 of us. I remember, there's once, we went to skate at East Coast park, She fell down. So i pei her fall down. Haha. That was so fun. I know right now i shouldn't try to think about her. But i just can't help it. I remember all the time we had together. From starting out. Meeting. Shy. The first time we meet, i was wearing a black shirt and a jeans with my gold hair and color contact lens with a packet of Marlboro Ice mint. So, we meet at CWP. Burger King. I was smoking while waiting for her. Then, finally she came in her PE Attire. The first time i saw her was like. Whoa. Why ZG don't cherish her? So, we went walking around. From Comics connection to Mcdonald. I was just keeping quiet. Cause i was shy. Really lah. Shy lah. Was disturbing her. Then awhile later, i called Gordon to come. Suddenly, i bad mood. I think, i shouldn't jio her. So tried to make her hate me. I left just after awhile Gordon came. But we didn't end there. We continue to chat on phone. Haha. Till the day, we together. 051108. How we was together? Well, it's just 1 day, i was heading to school in inappropriate attire. I was walking into school while on the phone with her. She woke up early to chat with me. I got catch. Blah blah blah. So she told me, that to pray that nothing happen. I told her. Cannot. I already pray le. I pray that you can be with me. So if i pray 1 more ah, the previous 1 will be invalid. Cannot be too greedy mah. Then i say until she be with me. Haha. I'm just really glad that god let me know her. Though maybe she thinks otherwise. But i'm pretty sure that if i can have a choice again, i will still choose to jio her. But in a way that i shall be better to her in the first place. She was really sweet to me when i was treating her badly. I keep on complain she was unfair to me. But i never think that i was unfair to her first. Haha. How lame i am. That's why, now, i must be fair to her. She wants to leave me. It's just she is really very good to me. I really love her alot. She told me once, that after she broke up with me, she cried every night. I really believe her. I'm sorry that i made you cried. I seriously believe that a girl should not cry for a guy. I'm sorry. But Thank you. Also remembering 1 time, that we haven't patch, but she was crying in my arms. Haha. She told me it was kou shui. Haha. How silly of her. Haha. It's all just precious memories. I don't want this memories to go away. She can leave me all she want. But she can't change the fact that i love her.

To Polarbear: Thank you for all the wonderful memories you gave me. If i say that i wanna forget about you is that i wanna forget all the bad memories. All the memories of me treating you badly. My only regret is that i never treat you good. I should have make pizza whenever you feel like eating. But right now, I promise you that i will never ever make pizza again. It's for you only. Whenever you feel like eating pizza, Just tell me 1 week before. I will make it for you regardless of you being with me anot. People tend to regret only after losing. I love you. But i will just bury that in my heart. Cause even if i love you, I already lose you. It's all too late. Thank you. I just hope that you will remember that whenever you are feeling down or something, and nobody is there for you, think again. Because i will always be there for you in the shadows. Just contact me whenever you are sad. That is the least i could do for you now.

I shall stop here. If not i will burst into tears again.

Regards,
Dark Soul

Death Wish + Memories
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Posted by Dark_Soul at 11:46 AM

All of my Signature is done by Shadow X.
Big thanks to him!